It All Comes Off
by SeventhSenses
Summary: Soren's out of the shower but his robe is missing.... what happens when Ike comes knocking on his door? [Oneshot] [FE:PoR]


AN: I eventually deciding to post this anyways. It's fairly funny, though I'll admit extremely weird. I tried to make this fic using one of my friends 5 favorite words, which were:

NOTHING!  
TOTTALLY  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKAY  
Confinscate  
purple

So, the first thing that came to my mind was something like this. Oh, warning, Ike is a total pervert in this fic. And Soren now knows it...

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"Dammit," Soren cursed to himself, "Where is my robe?"

After a long day of battle and the usual ruckus that comes with being part of a mercenary company Soren had decided to take a shower. After scrubbing himself clean and the dirt finally falling to the ground Soren had gone out, dried off, only to find his robe missing. Now for most people it wouldn't have been a problem, just grab another robe and go. As it is, however, Soren only has one robe. It was his favorite purple robe, why would he need anything else?

There was a faint knock on the door causing Soren to jump. He walked out of the bathroom and toward the door.

"What do you want?" Soren asked moodily.

"Can I come in?" Ike asked, "It will be easier to talk that way."

"No you can't come in," Soren snarled, "I'm not decent."

"What do you mean you're not decent?" Ike asked.

"I mean, I'm wearing NOTHING!" Soren replied irritable, he had just realized he had dropped his towel in the bathroom.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKAY then," Ike replied, "Soren, I know it's none of my business what you do in the privacy of you rooms, but if you don't mind me asking why are you naked?"

"Someone thought it would be fun to take my robe when I was in the shower," Soren snapped.

"That was me," Ike said quickly, "I had to confiscate your robe because you missed that guy in battle earlier… he was only like 2 feet from you. Why don't you just put on something else?"

"Because," Soren remarked angrily, "I don't own any other clothes."

"Are you serious?" Ike said, shocked, "I wouldn't have taken it from you if I had known that."

"Since when did confiscating clothing become a way to punish people anyways?" Soren asked, "When I was in the shower no less, you just came in and…"

"And what?" Ike asked.

"My shower curtain is see through," Soren said.

"What's your point?" Ike asked.

"Were you like…," Soren started, "Peeking at me or something?"

"….Maybe," Ike said nervously.

"Ike you're totally a pervert!" Soren exclaimed, "You knew I didn't have anything else to wear didn't you? You went and stole my robe anyways! Then you came here, hoping to like… catch me off guard and see what was covered in bubbles earlier! Am I right Ike?"

"…Maybe," Ike said again, "Listen Soren, I'll give you your robe back."

"What do you want me to do for it?" Soren asked, he was fairly smart after all.

"Nothing," Ike said, faking disbelief, "Just let me in and don't put your towel back on."

"Ike!" Soren exclaimed, making sure to lock the door, "I'm not going to let you see me nude! This isn't a show! Go get your kicks somewhere else!"

"But Soreeeeeen," Ike whined, "You're so pretty."

Soren scowled, "I'm a guy Ike, and I'm not supposed to be pretty."

"You're… you're… a guy?" Ike gasped.

"Are you serious?" Soren asked.

"I thought… I thought you were a girl!" Ike cried out.

"Wait, you saw half of me naked and didn't even know what gender I was?" Soren asked, immediately feeling self conscious of his so called women like body.

"Well I wondered why you were a little bit flat on top," Ike started, still confused, "And a bit… uh… bigger down below but I figured I shouldn't judge, you know…"

Soren yanked open the door and smacked Ike across the face.

"I am not small!" Soren yelled.

"Uh, Soren?" Ike prompted.

"What now?" Soren complained.

"You're kind of…" Ike started, looking down, "Not wearing anything, remember? As in no clothes? Unless of course you wanted for me to see you like this…"

Ike's face formed a devilish grin before Soren slammed the door in his face.

"I forgot!" Soren exclaimed, "I totally didn't want you to see me like that! I'm sorry Ike, I'm sure to others you might be a very attractive man, but I don't swing that way!"

"But Zihark said…" Ike started, "One night… you and him were… together."

Soren shook his head before realizing Ike couldn't see that through the door, "That was a long day that ended with too many shots of vodka. Needless to say I woke up the next morning with a huge hangover and a nude silver haired man."

"Oh," was all Ike could manage.

"Sorry…" Soren said, his voice trailing off.

"It's okay," Ike sighed, "It's not like I've ever been rejected before…. Oh, Soren? You can have your robe back now."

"Without you seeing me naked?" Soren asked suspiciously.

"I wouldn't have made you do that if it would make you too uncomfortable anyway," Ike said, "Besides, I did see you naked remember?"

Soren blushed, "Okay, I'm going to open the door a crack so you can hand me my robe okay?"

"Alright," Ike said.

Soren opened the door a sliver, just enough to let the robe through.

"Thanks Ike," Soren said, pulling his nice purple robe back on.

"Don't mention it Soren," Ike said, "One last thing before I go though. I was wrong to think you were female. You are definitely… and I mean definitely, not woman like."

"You pervert!" Soren screamed.

"I know," Ike smirked, "But you love me anyways, no?"

"No," Soren replied, "Bye Ike."

Ike chuckled, "See you around, Soren."

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AN: Did anyone actually read this? You get... a plushie Soren! Anyways, please review, although I do know it's weird.

Oh, and to anyone wondering why Ike's such a pervert in this I'm not entirely sure. No, I don't think Ike is actually supposed to be like this, so he's kind of... off character, but it's still funny right?


End file.
